Saturday, February 22, 2014

Eight Sentences: Zeelia (6)

Red, black, red again; she fell through fronds that snapped, small branches that broke, twigs and leaves and runners. Then everything stopped abruptly. Stagnant water splashed around her legs. She was half-in, half-out of a depression in the muddy soil; a natural reservoir of rain-water. Slowly, painfully, she pulled herself out of the scummy pool and rolled onto her back. Nothing seemed to be broken; bruised thoroughly, but no fractures or anything embedded in her flesh. The armor she'd stolen from one of the hound-handlers had proven itself. She looked up towards the place where she had fallen through and groaned; the shaft of sunlight streaming through the tear overhead showed her the veiny underside of a gargantuan leaf.




Previous                                                                                       Next


The Weekend Writing Warriors site sponsors a round of 8-sentence excerpts every weekend. Zeelia (1) was my first 8-sentence except and has become a regular weekly feature here at my blog. There is a new Linky-list at Weekend Writing Warriors for everyone participating in the blog-hop each weekend. Be sure to check out some of the other writers!

7 comments:

  1. Wow, excellent descriptions, Garrison! And your writing flows. Is this published? I want to read it! :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks. I'm working on it. Right now I'm having fun writing each 8-sentence snippet and want to see how far that will take things. I have several more installments already in the queue and will be writing more soon. This has developed organically and has a life of its own, so we'll see where it all leads...

      Delete
  2. I agree with Teresa, great descriptions. At first, I pictured something like Avatar, where they break their fall through the leaves, but your own setting was strong enough to stand apart. Intrigued to know where she is and what kind of trouble she's in.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I really enjoyed the excerpt, could visualize (and feel) the fall. More please!

    ReplyDelete
  4. She's spunky and determined...I like her : )

    ReplyDelete
  5. Just enough description to make me curious about this world--sounds like an interesting set of flora!

    Is the armor she's wearing so complete and sturdy that she can't feel the impact of the branches or the ground? Because I was missing a leaf smacking her in the face, or the feel of a branch thumping into her back and then breaking.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well if you are going to fall in a scummy pool it is best o be wearing stolen armour. A scene well painted.

    ReplyDelete