Saturday, February 15, 2014

Eight Sentences: Zeelia (5)

Everything was wet, covered in a layer of moisture that had the consistency of spit. The ground was muddier, sloppier. It quickly became impossible to run; she was reduced to slogging through the sweet-smelling red muck. With any luck the canopy would shield her from her pursuers. The heavy, pungent stench might confuse the scalehounds' sense of smell. But she wasn't going to stick around to test out that theory. She kept moving. Then the ground gave way beneath her feet and she fell.




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The Weekend Writing Warriors site sponsors a round of 8-sentence excerpts every weekend. Zeelia (1) was my first 8-sentence except and has become a regular weekly feature here at my blog. There is a new Linky-list at Weekend Writing Warriors for everyone participating in the blog-hop each weekend. Be sure to check out some of the other writers!

6 comments:

  1. I wouldn't stick around to test that theory either. :-)

    Good, descriptive writing!

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    1. Nope. Wouldn't be prudent. At all. Glad you like it. This is a lot of fun to write!

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  2. Enjoyed this tense little scene...but the hyphen between gave and way needs to go. It's distracting and I spent a bit of time trying to figure out what it was there for which pulled me out of the story.

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    1. Good catch. I'm not sure how it got there in the first place, but it is gone now. I'll keep an eye out for extraneous hyphens going forward. Thanks!

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  3. I definitely get a feel for the physical setting from all your excellent description. I'd want out of there as fast as possible too...terrific snippet!

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    1. Thanks. I can see this place clearly as I write each segment. The whole thing has taken on a life of its own. I'm just doing my best to keep up with it and to stay out of the way.

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